Imposter Syndrome: Who does it think you are?

If you’ve ever had the nagging thought that you don’t belong, that you’re a fraud, that one day someone’s going to find you out - you’re not alone. That voice? That’s imposter syndrome. And it shows up more often than you might think.

It’s most often talked about in relation to work or study - but it can bleed into all areas of life. It tells you your successes don’t count, that you only got where you are because of luck, or timing, or because someone made a mistake in choosing you. It says: “You’re not as good as they think you are.”

Imposter syndrome thrives on a stream of unkind internal messages. Things like:

• I feel like a fake

• I can’t accept praise - they don’t know the real me

• If I don’t get it perfect, I’ve failed

• If I ask for help, I’ve failed

• If I’m not overperforming, I’m underachieving\

It’s heavy. And relentless. Over time, it chips away at self-worth. And while those thoughts feel so personal, the experience itself is almost painfully common - one study found that around 84% of adults will feel this at some point. That’s most of us.

But where does it come from?

Imposter syndrome doesn’t just appear out of nowhere. There are threads - emotional, psychological, even neurological - that can quietly weave this feeling into our sense of self over time.

For some, it links to personality traits like perfectionism, low self-esteem, or high sensitivity to failure. You might hold yourself to impossible standards, not because you want to suffer - but because part of you believes it’s the only way to be enough.

Upbringing plays a role too. Families that put a big emphasis on achievement - or send mixed signals like overpraising and heavy criticism in the same breath - can leave a child unsure of who they really are underneath all the performance. When love and approval feel conditional, we learn to strive. Hard. And to question ourselves, even when we succeed.

Then there's the pressure cooker of society and work. High-stakes environments, fierce competition, or feeling like you don’t belong - especially if you’re navigating systemic inequality or marginalisation - can intensify those imposter thoughts. It's not just in your head. The system around you can reinforce those feelings in very real ways.

Even the brain gets involved. The amygdala - the part responsible for fear and anxiety - can be overactive in people experiencing imposter syndrome. So the panic you feel? The dread? The sense that you don’t belong? That’s not weakness. That’s your nervous system trying to protect you, even when there’s no real threat.

And so commonly, we find ways to cope with the discomfort of not feeling “enough”. We work harder. Over-function. Push ourselves beyond our capacity. Or we go the other way - avoid the risk altogether. Back away quietly, disappear into the background, keep our struggles to ourselves, just in case.

The tricky part? Those strategies seem helpful in the short-term. But they actually reinforce the very thing we’re trying to escape.

There are four main “types” of imposter voices (none of them kind):

The Perfectionist
Says: You must do everything flawlessly.
When you don’t? Cue guilt, shame, and self-criticism.

The Master of All
Says: If you don’t already know it, you’re a failure.
There’s no room for learning or curiosity, only immediate mastery.

The Soloist
Says: You should be able to do this all by yourself.
Needing support becomes a weakness, not a normal human need.

The Non-Stopper
Says: Keep going. Take on more. Be everything to everyone.
Rest? Not allowed. Fatigue? Guilt-inducing.

Sound familiar? Here’s the good news: you can change the script.

When you start to understand where these messages came from - when you stop treating them as truth and start treating them as old echoes - you create space for something new. Space to:

• Take risks without expecting perfection

• Rest without guilt

• Say no without panic

• Accept praise without deflecting

• Begin something without knowing everything in advance

The short-term impact? More energy. Less stress. Less people-pleasing, overworking, hiding. The long-term impact? A deeper connection to others. A softened relationship with yourself. Less anxiety. Improved mood. You don’t need to prove your worth. It’s already here. Even if the voice in your head hasn’t caught up yet.

If you’re noticing imposter syndrome playing out in your life - whether it’s quietly or all-consuming - you don’t have to navigate it alone.

I'm a down-to-earth, Master's qualified, BACP-registered counsellor, and I work with people who feel like they’re constantly trying to “measure up,” but never quite get there. Together, we can explore where those voices came from and start to loosen their grip.

If you're ready to feel more grounded in who you are, you're welcome to reach out for a free, no-pressure introductory call.

Let’s quiet that inner critic. One conversation at a time.