Anxiety & ‘The Scary Thing’

It’s one of those uncomfortable truths. The thing most of us don’t want to hear when we’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious. But here it is anyway:

Chronic anxiety often needs us to do the very thing we’re scared of.

Not immediately, and not recklessly - but purposefully. And with support if we need it.

Whether it’s making a phone call you’ve been putting off, driving to a new place, going to the big supermarket alone, or even just opening the post… it’s often these small, ordinary things that feel monumental when anxiety is loud. And frustratingly, the way we turn the volume down - in the long run - is by doing them.

The scary thing is rarely as scary as our nervous system makes it feel. But our body doesn't know that. Not yet. It needs proof. And unfortunately, proof doesn’t come from thinking about it or waiting until we “feel ready.” It comes from doing. Gently. Repeatedly. With a regulated breath and a reminder: “I’m safe.”

Your nervous system’s job is to protect you. It just gets a bit overzealous sometimes. It’s working from outdated information, patterns, past experiences — trying to spot threats even when there aren’t any real ones present.

It’s like your brain sees a saber-toothed tiger lurking behind the self-service checkout.

But there’s no tiger. There’s just the beep of the barcode scanner, the flicker of fluorescent lighting, and your body misreading the scene.

So we train it. Slowly. Over time. By showing it again and again — I can do hard things. I can move through discomfort. I can survive awkwardness. I can feel scared and do it anyway. And guess what? I come out the other side intact. Sometimes even proud.

This is how we shift things. Not by eradicating fear or avoiding every trigger, but by expanding your sense of what’s possible while you feel afraid.

And it doesn’t have to be huge. You don’t need to leap. You can tiptoe. You can text instead of call, go to the small shop first, walk around the car park before going inside. There are ways to stretch without snapping.

And all the while - breathe. Let your exhale be long. Notice what softens.

There’s no one-size-fits-all here. But the pattern is often the same: courage, regulation, repetition. Then - eventually - ease.

It’s hard, I know. But if this is where you are right now, consider this your gentle nudge: the way through is forward. One small, scary step at a time.

And no, there’s no tiger. Promise.

If you'd like support along the way, you're very welcome to get in touch. I'm a down-to-earth, Master's qualified, BACP-registered counsellor, and I work with people just like you - people navigating anxiety, self-doubt, and the messy in-between bits of life. We don't have to figure it all out in one go. But if you're ready to start, I'm here.

You can reach out for a no-pressure introductory call or just drop me a message to find out more.

Let’s take the next small step, together.